Jacqui: How do you wish people would respond to you?

Finnbar: It would depend where they were in their lives. If it wasn’t someone I’d interacted with before, I suppose a gentle curiosity would be nice. You know, nothing sort of accusatory or assuming.

But also, I would really want them to spend some personal time with it, thinking about their gender, thinking about gender in the world because I feel like they lay it all on me, and I’m happy to talk with them about it, but it’s like they want me to give them all the answers about gender, but I only got where I did by thinking about it myself.

You can talk to as many gender experts or gender-fluid people as you want, but if you don’t tie it to your own life, it’s just, kind of, words. So I feel like they don’t get it anywhere with them.